March 20th, 2008
DAILY SHOTS
Photocopying all day again today. Just like marvel_boy on the other blog, I never do anything else. Today I've been producing hundreds of copies of the new Essential Triathlon series which comes out in May. It's double-sided copying, then we clip all the pages together with a big industrial stapler and send them direct to the shops. It's cheaper than binding and we're hoping the shops and the fans won't mind.
BENDIS, BENDIS, JUST A LITTLE BIT
I've been here for months now, and all the top writers like me. When Bendis is in town (like he was today) he always talks to me. Today, he came down the corridor where the copier is and even though I'm just a gofer he had a few words for me. "Shift, fat ass," he said. He's such a nice man.
SMOOTH CRIMINAL
I'm going to try to give you spoilers when I can, and my first one is a biggie. I overheard Ed Brubaker talking about his plans for Captain America. He was in the mens room with Tom, and I was in trap four, but the door wasn't closed so they didn't know I was there. Anyway, the big thing you should know about Cap is that apparently you should read Criminal. This seems to be Ed's answer to everything. "Want a coffee, Ed?" "Read Criminal." "You have a dog turd on your heel, Ed." "Read Criminal." "What's going to happen with Sharon Carter's baby?" "You should read Criminal." "Is that Daredevil you're writing?" "Are you blind? Read Criminal." So - there you go. You know where the answers are, and Marvel Guy told you.
SIMONE SAYS
The latest big rumour is that Gail Simone is defecting from DC. Nobody's told Brian yet, because (a) he'll have to pretend to like her in person and (b) she's taking over The Avengers. Apparently there will just be one book and she's not sticking with many of the current members. Ms Marvel and Wasp will still be there, but there will be four new members - Moondragon, Valkyrie, Storm and Mary Jane Watson. Power Man and Wonder Man will remain, but will as of the first issue start to suffer from serious doubts with regard to their sexuality, and both will undergo gender reassignment before Christmas, resulting in interesting changes of name. Gail will have her own office, on her own floor, in her own building, in her own city, and men will only be allowed in if a light bulb needs changing.
UPPING THE FRACTIONS
I've heard rumours of second titles for Fantastic Four, Daredevil, Iron Fist, Avengers The Initiative, Ms Marvel, Hulk, She-Hulk, Ultimates, Anita Blake and Dark Tower. Apparently Matt Fraction will be writing them all.
OFFICE TERRORS
Richard Corben was in the office today. He made me eat one of my own fingers. Or maybe it was a mind trick. Bendis gave Corben Mark Millar's address. I don't know what that was about.
IMPORTANT
NOTE: It's hardly likely that any Marvel creators will stumble on this blog, but please note that no more than gentle parody is intended. The writer is a fan of pretty much all the people named above, and will remove any section deemed to be hurtful on receipt of a verifiable e-mail.
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